everywhere is a bed if you try hard enough

(Source: shigure-hime, via fake-mermaid)


it’s kinda messed up that winnie the pooh and jack the ripper both have the same middle name

(via orgasm)

the most uncomfortable part of breaking dawn was when bella and edward were having sex in their new house and bella was climaxing and this old lady next to me was like “i miss getting orgasms like that”

(Source: musicalbeds, via feellng)


A part of me dies every time no one gets my joke

(via orgasm)


the bags under my eyes are as dark as the inside of Hollister

(via genies)